I am not a Web Master

16 02 2013

I am not a web master. I don’t code. I don’t game and I have to use google to fix most of my computer problems. (which means I need at least one functioning computer or device. But I bet you already knew that.)

I am however a writer and I can run a blog. At least I hope I can. If you’re reading this than I probably can. Otherwise I’m just talking to myself, which is ok too.

You might be wondering where I’m going with this. The answer is plain and simple, in the life and times of me, when asked to copy write for someone’s website I said no problem. That’s totally my groove.
Then they asked if I could maintain the website. Slightly more involved but ok I figured it out.
Wrench was thrown in the system when the asked me to attach a logo to the page.
First I was like *eye twitch*
Then I was all “surely he must be joking”

He wasn’t joking.

I am not one much for numbers. I can do geometry and physics. But don’t ask me to preform abstract algebra, calculus or any form of advanced trig. I only choose to accept dealing with numbers in applied science. And I’ll preform the 4 basic math functions all day long. But if you start telling me about words made from numbers, chances are I’ll start tuning you out and wondering why your teeth are crooked, or noticing that your eyebrow color does not match that of your hair color.

So no, I cannot just magically lick and stick a logo into a website header. Not unless there is clear edit and insert here button. I took one required computer class in college. All we did was copy and paste and cut and paste and beat the same dead horse every computer class since 2nd grade had taught us to do. I think I slept through most of those classes that semester.

I have this theory. All the nerds in all the world got together and decided to make things overly complicated when it comes to communication with computers. If I wan my background to be red. By golly why can’t I just code the word red instead of assigning it it’s own phone number. They did this to stay in business. Job security.

Heartless ninny muggins!

By now you might be getting the impression that I’m a little peeved. You might be right. I’m standing in silent condemnation of HTML. Even though it is presently letting me reach out to you dear reader. That is what is called irony.

Ok well I’m going to cash in on some sleep for the night. Good afternoon to my readers in France.





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